Magnus Bane (
magna_bane) wrote2013-07-28 11:39 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Sometimes, you have to be direct... (for
alec_lightwood)
"I don't know this writing." She murmured the words softly while pushing a few books around on the table. The narrowed and arched looks of three sets of eyes completely washing over her like they weren't even there. Instead, she pointed to a photo she'd taken of the writing from the rooftop where Lilith had tried to resurrect Sebastian. "How do I not know this writing? I've studied all the forms of the Gehenna languages..."
"Magna Bane-Lightwood, if you do not sit down, I will burn all of your books and pour the ashes in the dead sea." Catarina growled softly as she tried to pace the smaller woman with a different attempts to figure out why she couldn't change. They all knew why... but Magna wanted to be sure. Had to be sure. Jace was gone... Alec didn't need...
"Can't this wait, Catarina?" Sighing in exasperation, she turned and leaned back against the table. She felt sick. Ungodly sick. Like everything she'd eaten on her trip with Alec would magically find away to escape. The sickness left her pale and even shaking as Catarina's hand pressed against her forehead.
"No." The blue skinned healer glared at her in a way only a motherly healer could and it quelled her thoughts. If Magna dared to look over her shoulder, she knew that she'd find two sets of feline eyes glaring at her. "You need to put this nonsense away and let me check you over..."
"But... Alec needs..."
"Alec doesn't know what he needs! You know why?" The healer glared her down and didn't have to finish it as Lex scowled and finished for her, "Because you haven't told him!"
"I told him..." Magnus wilted against the table and gave in. Sitting on the edge, Catarina worked her magic grumbling the while time about how Magnus Bane didn't know the meaning of communicating. "He has more important things to worry about..." Keeping her voice soft, she felt a pain in her chest and stomach that nearly made her want to retch right then.
"You know that's not true..." Mal's soft voice permeated the air and Magnus flinched. "If you just told him clearly, you'd realize that. Even if he is a new person, you know as well as we do that he loves you. This isn't something you can dance around."
Rubbing at her face, she finally pressed her hands over it and made a soft sound. When she lifted her head, she waved them away. "Go. I'm tired. We all know this is pointless. We all know why I can't change. So just go home. I need to think." The kittens started to complain and she cut them sharp looks. "You two. Out. I love you, but you're suffocating me. I'll see you in the morning." Both of them glared only a moment before they gave in. One at a time they said goodbye, Mal with a kiss to her forehead and Lex with a hug. After one last lingering look, they were gone. "I know what those looks mean... they are chastising me for not saying it to him plainly."
"Magnus..." Feline eyes rose to Catarina's and she tried to grin only to sigh at the hard look. "Leave all of this where it lay... clean up... lay down. If he doesn't come back here tonight, you call him. The longer you put this off... the worse of a mess you'll make. Are we clear?"
One hand tangled messily in her hair as her eyes closed. Ducking her head, she made a low whimpering sound as her stomach turned. Finally... all she could do was nod.
"Magna Bane-Lightwood, if you do not sit down, I will burn all of your books and pour the ashes in the dead sea." Catarina growled softly as she tried to pace the smaller woman with a different attempts to figure out why she couldn't change. They all knew why... but Magna wanted to be sure. Had to be sure. Jace was gone... Alec didn't need...
"Can't this wait, Catarina?" Sighing in exasperation, she turned and leaned back against the table. She felt sick. Ungodly sick. Like everything she'd eaten on her trip with Alec would magically find away to escape. The sickness left her pale and even shaking as Catarina's hand pressed against her forehead.
"No." The blue skinned healer glared at her in a way only a motherly healer could and it quelled her thoughts. If Magna dared to look over her shoulder, she knew that she'd find two sets of feline eyes glaring at her. "You need to put this nonsense away and let me check you over..."
"But... Alec needs..."
"Alec doesn't know what he needs! You know why?" The healer glared her down and didn't have to finish it as Lex scowled and finished for her, "Because you haven't told him!"
"I told him..." Magnus wilted against the table and gave in. Sitting on the edge, Catarina worked her magic grumbling the while time about how Magnus Bane didn't know the meaning of communicating. "He has more important things to worry about..." Keeping her voice soft, she felt a pain in her chest and stomach that nearly made her want to retch right then.
"You know that's not true..." Mal's soft voice permeated the air and Magnus flinched. "If you just told him clearly, you'd realize that. Even if he is a new person, you know as well as we do that he loves you. This isn't something you can dance around."
Rubbing at her face, she finally pressed her hands over it and made a soft sound. When she lifted her head, she waved them away. "Go. I'm tired. We all know this is pointless. We all know why I can't change. So just go home. I need to think." The kittens started to complain and she cut them sharp looks. "You two. Out. I love you, but you're suffocating me. I'll see you in the morning." Both of them glared only a moment before they gave in. One at a time they said goodbye, Mal with a kiss to her forehead and Lex with a hug. After one last lingering look, they were gone. "I know what those looks mean... they are chastising me for not saying it to him plainly."
"Magnus..." Feline eyes rose to Catarina's and she tried to grin only to sigh at the hard look. "Leave all of this where it lay... clean up... lay down. If he doesn't come back here tonight, you call him. The longer you put this off... the worse of a mess you'll make. Are we clear?"
One hand tangled messily in her hair as her eyes closed. Ducking her head, she made a low whimpering sound as her stomach turned. Finally... all she could do was nod.
no subject
He'd managed to keep his impatience reined in as he'd answered the same questions over and over, his thoughts turning toward Magna and her inability to change whenever his interviewers gave him a chance to consider anything but Sebastian and Jace. Jace who wasn't quite gone but wasn't quite there either, leaving a gaping hole in his spirit where his parabatai should be.
At least Magna would understand why it bothered him so much that Jace was gone... even if she was jealous of Jace sometimes. Which made her offers to help find the blond even more special to him.
Finally, the Clave let him go home and after escorting a shaky Isabelle back to the Institute, he went to Magnus' apartment, the familiarity of the route giving him a chance to mull over what she'd told him about her magic.
She couldn't change into her male form. When she'd said it, she'd looked at him expectantly and he couldn't help feeling like he was somehow disappointing her by not understanding what she meant other than the obvious. Maybe somewhere in his jigsaw memories there was an answer, but Alec couldn't think of it.
It worried him... terrified him actually since he didn't know. But he assumed if it was a serious illness either Magna or the twins would tell him. And if there was something wrong with her magic, she'd warn him before they were dragged into another battle.
But logic couldn't stop the worry that was causing his stomach to clench painfully or the fear that made it difficult to breathe if he thought about all the possible reasons why her shapeshifting wasn't working properly.
Even as he climbed the steps to Magna's apartment, he checked his cell phone for a message from her or the kittens, hoping and dreading that there'd be a text. When he reached the door, he unlocked it and let himself in, stomach in knots as he locked up behind him. "Magna? Mal? Lex? Anyone home?"
no subject
But whatever argument she had in mind evaporated as Alec's voice broke the quiet. Both heads turned toward the door and she reacted instantly. "In here." The other warlock turned back to her and arched a brow. "I will, okay? I just.. wasn't sure he'd come back tonight..." After all, they were his real family... the kittens and herself were just phantoms of a past lost.
One of Catarina's hands slid through her hair and tucked it behind an ear as she smiled gently. "Good girl. I'll call tomorrow to check on you." Taking a step back, the healer turned and they both walked toward the door. Catarina sent Alec a friendly smile and a nod of her head. Then she stopped and looked at the hunter carefully as though thinking. "Hello, Alexander, I was just leaving... Keep an eye on her, all right? She has a nasty habit of forgetting she needs care too."
Magna glared at the back of Catarina's head as the imp walked out the door with a wave. In a tantrum of sorts, she bolted the door behind the blue-skinned warlock with a decisively loud click. Only to stop as her eyes lifted to Alec. Moving closer, she lifted her hands and caught his face between them gently. "How are you doing? I didn't think you'd be back tonight..."
no subject
But Catarina was a great healer, one of the best. Even if his memories of her were fuzzy he knew that was true. She was a good soul, someone who loved to care for others.
He managed a weak smile for their friend until the healer mentioned caring for Magna and his expression looked frightened before he managed to control his reaction to those words. "I - I will. I'd do anything for her." A look of empathy crossed Catarina's features before she gave him a reassuring smile that eased his worries slightly.
As the door was shut and locked behind the warlock, Alec turned to Magna, trying not to let his worry show. Leaning into her hands, he gave her a weak smile. "The Clave tried to keep me all night but they finally figured out that I didn't know anything about Sebastian. I'm okay..." He almost left it at that but he couldn't lie to her. There weren't supposed to be lies between them. "But I'm worried about you."
no subject
Softly moving her hand up to slip through his hair, she rose up on her toes as she tugged him down. Kissing his lips softly, she finally gave him a sweet smile pouring her love and concern for him into that expression. "I'm glad you're home." Softly trailing her fingers along his jaw, she frowned just a little at his concern.
"It's... it's not like I'm ill. Well... the illness is normal. It happened last time too..." She felt a rush of nervousness that made her stomach turn again and she had to hold her breath to wait it out. When she let it out, her cheeks flushed. "Can we go sit down? I... really need to say something, but..." She let him go and her hands made a wild unintelligible gesture. "But I was bad at telling you the first time and I don't know how... or if you'll even be... happy... and I want you to be happy... I am happy... if I weren't worried about you being upset about it... the timing... and Jace being gone..."
She made a little strangled noise of frustration before she gave him a wide eyed pout. She tended to talk a lot when she was nervous and upset. And really... she was happy. This was a part of them both inside of her... it should be happy.
no subject
But with Jace gone and the Clave snapping at him... and then Camille trying to pry them apart, he couldn't help being afraid of why Catarina had visited and why Magnus had been acting so strangely.
His fears eased as she kissed him and he slowly returned it with gentle adoration. "This is my home, Magna. You're my home. I'll always come back to you."
He was about to slip his arms around her when she asked if they could sit down. There was something familiar about her rambling but worry confused his thoughts. Catching her hands so she'd be still... he lifted them up to kiss her knuckles, then softly kissed each palm. "I want both of us to be happy... Jace being gone hurts but it's not going to change things between us."
Letting out a quiet sigh, he gave her a pleading look, hoping she'd quickly find a way to tell him what was bothering her. "Please tell me. Whatever it is, we'll take care of it together."
no subject
Leaning into his chest, she closed her eyes and just breathed. It reminded her of back before when she'd been pregnant... he always calmed her down and made the 'illness' easier to deal with. But what had her fear dying away almost instantly was how his hands took hers and his lips brushed her knuckles and palms.
Stepping closer, she curled into his chest as best she could standing. Curling her fingers into his sweater, she smiled to herself and just listened to his heart a moment. "I know... I'm sorry... I can't help it."
Leaning back, her eyes sparked with happiness as she felt the words tumble out. "We're pregnant." It struck her after a moment how she said it before she laughed and ducked her head. "Well.. I am... but it's ours... and... I know it's bad timing but..."
no subject
"Soulmates." No matter how many times he said it, it always made him feel like he was floating, pure happiness driving away the loneliness he'd thought would be a constant for him.
Wrapping his arms around her, Alec kissed the top of her head as he told himself there was no reason to be afraid. Magnus would tell him if something was wrong. She wouldn't hide something from him that would endanger their new life together.
Not that his fears could last when he saw the pure happiness in her eyes. Returning her smile, it took a moment for her words to register.
Pregnant... But Magnus had said that a warlock becoming pregnant was a once in a lifetime event. The kittens were a miracle that would never happen again. "Pregnant.. but how... You're really...? It's only supposed to happen once."
no subject
Part of her said she should have felt guilty for being so happy. Alec lost his parabatai. Wasn't it wrong to feel so relieved? Slipping her hands up further, she gently traced the curve of his neck and kissed under his chin.
Only to grin at his shock. It went a little like that last time only with 'warlocks can't have kids'. "Our bond... it solidified again. We're soul bonded again... I... I guess that means it's all new again. Are.. you're happy, aren't you?" Concern colored her eyes as one hand instinctively slid between them to press over her stomach.
no subject
But even that purr and the accompanying kiss couldn't lessen his shock. It made sense in a way. It was new physically, even if their souls were the same so he'd never thought it was possible. Until now and everything clicked into place.
This was why Mal and Lex had looked at him so expectantly when Magnus had announced that she couldn't change. They were going to have a baby...
"I..." Shock turned to elation as he slipped his hand over Magna's. "Yes I'm happy. More than happy." Grinning at his love, he gave her an adoring kiss. "Why wouldn't I be happy? We're having another kitten."
no subject
"We are.. I... I asked Catarina to confirm it. We're definitely pregnant." She fidgeted a little even though she knew Alec was happy. "It doesn't mean I'll be useless. I can still help... you'll let me won't you? I... I know this is hard on you."
Gently curling her hand about his, she lifted it to kiss his palm lovingly. "I love you, Alec... I promised you new memories... This... this will be more than even that. I know its early... but..." If it didn't happen then, they may never have had the chance to have their own.
Smiling sweetly, she drew his hand down to her stomach again. "This is ours... yours and mine..."
no subject
"We're pregnant." It was probably silly to keep repeating it, but each time he said made it more real to him. "We're going to have kittens." He loved Lex and Mal as if he had raised them in this life, but to have another chance at something that was impossible.
Which meant that they couldn't take risks like they normally could. Frowning slightly, he gently cupped her cheek, eyes shadowed with worry as he remembered what Magna had told him of his first death. It could have just as easily been Magnus who had died instead of Alec.
"I'll let you help, Magna, but... Will you stay out of the battles?" He couldn't demand that she stay behind. That would hurt her and might make her more determined to help than she already was. "I don't want to risk losing you and our kitten. Especially now."
It probably wasn't fair to ask her that after she'd lost him a century ago, but it was more than just Magna's life that was now at risk. Hopefully, she'd agree without becoming angry with him.
"I want these memories, Magnus. I want us to be a family... all of us together." Unconsciously, his hand drifted to her stomach as he gave her a shy smile. "Another miracle that we didn't think we'd have."
no subject
Her mind came back into focus as he told her to stay out of the battles. Brow furrowing, she ducked her head. Hand gently curled about his as the idea of being useless now hit. She understood. She didn't want to risk their child. Lowering her forehead against his shoulder she sighed heavily.
It hurt. More than she expected it to. Closing her eyes tightly, she tucked her head down further into him. "Alec... I know... I know I can't risk it, but I can't let you get hurt either. I can't lose you again. So I have to sit back again? And worry about losing you?" Letting out a slow sigh, she shook her head.
"I'll be as careful as I can." But the idea of not being there to keep him safe... it ate her up on the inside. Steadying the fear, she tipped her head back up finally and nuzzled into his neck. Closing her eyes, she pressed a kiss to his pulse. "You are the center of our family. I love you... and even if it kills me... I'll try my best to do as you ask."
no subject
He'd given his life to protect his children and now he was afraid he'd lose his new family because Magnus was afraid he might be killed. Brushing his fingers through her hair, he knew the promise was probably the best he could expect. "Magna, I..."
Even that kiss wasn't enough to ease the fear that was wrapping around his heart. "I love you too. Please be careful. I don't want to lose either one of you."
Sighing, he wondered if they could leave even if Izzy needed him and Jace was missing. Maybe if they were far enough away, Magnus would be safe. His family would be angry at first, but if he told them why he they couldn't be an active part of the search, they'd understand. "We could... leave for awhile. After the Clave's done interviewing me, they won't need me anymore."
no subject
"I'm sorry, Alec... I'm just afraid of losing you again. I know I shouldn't feel that way. I promise I'll do everything I can to keep our child safe." Which broke her heart to make. Because that mean she have to run if saving Alec risked her child. "I won't lose any part of us..."
The thought of him running from those he loved made her feel empty inside... She instantly shook her head and looked up at him. "We won't abandon your family. They are just as much mine. I will never make you choose between me and them. I will behave. I promise."
Just thinking of him regretting giving her something so precious made her more determined not to let it happen. "Alec... we'll work this out together... Please, love?"
no subject
But how careful could any of them be with Sebastian out there? He'd almost killed Max and he'd kidnapped Jace, what would he do to someone like Magna or the kittens?
"I'm not choosing between them and you." Or he'd try not to think of it that way. "I'm protecting you and our kitten." Meeting her eyes, he told himself that Izzy would forgive him. Clary probably wouldn't but Jace would understand. He'd do the same for Clary if they were going to have a child. "They'd understand eventually."
He didn't like the idea but if that was what they needed to do... "We will, but consider it at least? I don't want Sebastian to have a chance to hurt you."
no subject
"Alec..." Sliding her hands up she cupped his face and kissed his chin. Next she kissed his jaw then just behind his ear. "Alexander..." She nipped the shell of his ear and then nuzzled into his hair. Soon she had to lower back down as her feet protested standing too long on her toes.
"I love you. I love you and I will stay by your side no matter what path you follow. I will kill you and our child safe. I know you'll keep us safe. But this fight... it's beyond us. I... i have a feeling, Alec... my dreams are terrifying." They'd been getting terrifying till he started to sleep with her again. "I won't make you leave your parabatai but I want us to exercise extreme caution. Please?"
Magna knew how dangerous Sebastian could be. She remembered the look he gave her on the few occasions they 'met'. If he knew why she was so important or different... what would he do to her and her children? It scared her more than she wanted to admit.
Pulling on him gently, she smiled at him in exhaustion and feeling whole having him in her arms. "I want to lay down... can we lay down? We can keep talking in bed..."
no subject
His hands smoothed along her back as she kissed him, shivering at the feeling of teeth against his ear. "Magna... I love you too." Pulling her closer, he buried his face in her hair, hating that her dreams confirmed what he wanted to believe was just senseless worry. "We'll face whatever you dreamed of together. We'll be careful."
Pulling away slightly, he looked into her eyes, his expression determined. "I won't let him hurt my family. I'm not losing any of you."
Noticing how tired she looked, he pushed aside thoughts of Sebastian to focus on his love. "We can. You need to rest or Catarina will chase after us both." Before she could protest, he swept Magnus up into his arms, settling her against his chest before kissing her jaw. "Maybe we should talk about happier things now that we've promised to be careful?"
no subject
Beaming up at him as he pulled away, she smoothed her fingertips over his cheek. "I know you won't. And we'll take care of you as well. That's what family is, Alec..."
"She can be very intimidating. I agree--!" A surprised sound left her as he picked her up. Wrapping her arms about his neck she gasped and pressed her face into his neck. Laughing so that softly, she hugged him tighter. "My knight in shining leather..."
Purring a little louder at the kisses and attention she nodded. "Like names... we should think about one for a boy and one for a girl just in case." Nuzzling his jaw, she sighed a happy sigh. "God, I love you..."
no subject
Magnus probably would still protest but the thought would comfort him. If things became too dangerous, then they would protect their kitten no matter what the others might think.
But for now, they'd plan for a new member of their family. His happiness turned to mischief as she made that sound and he nuzzled her neck. "My gear has never been shiny." Nothing he'd ever owned had been shiny unless Magnus had gotten hold of it. "I love you so much."
Carrying her to the bedroom, he gently eased her onto the mattress before stretching out beside her. Instinctively, his hand settled on her stomach, an awed grin brightening his features. "I never thought we'd have to think of names again."
no subject
Giggling softly, she tipped her head to let Alec have access to her neck. "Mm.. maybe not... But I can pretend for a foolish girly fantasy that it's shiny." Grinning at him, she brushed the hair back from his face. "Doesn't matter as long as you're mine."
Releasing him slowly as she was placed on the bed, she waited till he joined her before settling into him. Running her fingertips over his hand on her stomach, the purr deepened in happiness. "Well.. not just names... if you want to convert a room here... if you want to move..." Pulling him closer, she kissed him again softly. "Think about it... might be nice to move out of the city when our kitten is born."
no subject
Nipping lightly at her pulse, he smiled against her neck. "If you want me in shining armor, we could probably figure something out. There's probably a set somewhere in the Institute." Or knowing Magnus' fashion sense, there might be a set hidden away in her apartment somewhere. Returning that smile, he brushed his lips against her cheek. "I'll always be yours. You know that."
Tangling his fingers with hers, Alec lifted her hand up to kiss her knuckles before returning their hands to her stomach. "Did we have problems coming up with names before? I don't remember." Humming softly as he returned the kiss, he snuggled closer, curling around his love. "Where would we move to? I haven't been anywhere except New York and Idris."
no subject
Chuckling softly, she threaded her fingers into his hair and purred happily. Twining her fingers in his hair, she made a happy sound. Turning her head just a little into the brush of lips, she made a happy little sound. "Mm.. And I will be yours forever."
Watching him kiss her knuckles she couldn't help the sweet smile that pulled at her lips. "I think you ended up bowing to most of my whims. I think I was over excited. I really want you to help me this time..." Leaning in closer, she nuzzled their noses together. "Even upstate New York would be pretty... Where ever you are is home to me, darling... you know this right?"
no subject
Laughing softly, he imagined how he must have acted the first time they'd been pregnant. At least this time he knew it was possible. Then he'd probably would've been so dazed and ecstatic that he would have agreed to anything that would make Magnus happy. "I don't mind letting you choose, but I'll help since you want me to. Do you want names that remind us of the past or something new?"
Both ideas had merit. This was a new start for them in most ways, but the past was important... especially since Alec was caught both in the past and in the present.
Tipping his head, he kissed the end of her nose. "I know, Magna. My home is with my family. Even if we move away from the city, I know you'll let me portal to see Iz and Jace." His parents probably wouldn't want to see him after they realized their hopes for grandchildren wouldn't happen the way they expected. "Do you want to stay in New York? I thought maybe you'd want to go back to London."
no subject
"I do want your help. I just... want a part of your name in at least one of their names." Smiling at that, she cupped his face and closed her eyes a moment. Touching their foreheads, she tugged him closer to gently kiss him. "I like giving them a part of who you are..."
A light giggle left as he kissed her nose. "Mm... Exactly. Want to have a home that's be ours. Not just my loft. Know what I mean?" Hugging him tight she whispered in his ear. "I could live in London. Alec... I want to go where you want to be. That's important to me..." She didn't want to pick a place and he'd be all upset. That wasn't what she wanted.
no subject
The thought hadn't occurred to him. He'd been so excited over the thought that they were going to have a child, then worried about protecting Magna that he hadn't considered that they could have twins again. "Twins?"
Snuggling closer, he nuzzled at her hair, grinning softly at the thought of them having a new life together. "I'm not sure where I want to be. I don't want to stay in New York." It was home, but he was afraid of what might happen if they stayed close to the Institute since trouble seemed to be drawn to the place. "But I'd like to have a place like we had before. Somewhere that we're both happy."
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)